Metre Down….
John Abraham : Hunk – YES. Dreamboat. Drrrrrroooool.
Actor – No.
Nana Patekar : Hunk – Are you out of your mind ?
Actor – A really good one. And in this movie he proves once again that he is brilliant at humour too.
Taxi No. 9211: Entertainment – Yes. Full Paisa Vasool if the viewer switches off his / her brain and ignores some illogical situations. It’s an interesting plot, embellished with John’s yummy good looks and Nana’s hilarious dialogues. The movie drags a bit towards the end where the moral and the message overpower the medium and it becomes a bit soppy, otherwise it’s good fun all the way.
By,
Zenobia D. Driver
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
More on the same
More on the Jessica Lall story. Arnab has expressed things much better than I could, so let me just give you the link to his blog - http://greatbong.net/2006/02/25/the-shayan-munshi-in-all-of-us/#more-197. He has really written a good post on Shayan Munshi turning a hostile witness in the Jessica Lal case.
Here is a link to another interesting article - a judge giving his suggestions on how we should change the prosecution apparatus in order to ensure justice in such cases. http://www.indianexpress.com/full_story.php?content_id=88403
Someone I met yesterday raised a very interesting question, am not sure I answered it at all well, hence am bouncing it off all of you. He said that effectively the media has tried Manu Sharma and found him guilty prematurely, all of us are going purely by the case that the media has built up, and we have no way of actually knowing whether Manu Sharma is guilty or not. My reply was that the way the witnesses retracted evidence and turned hostile stank like hell, and somehow the way the case has progressed does not convince me that the courts or the police have pursued it diligently. Hence I am inclined to believe that Manu Sharma did not deserve to walk away scot free.
Am quite frustrated by this case - it was not a lonely encounter in some dingy back alley, it was in full view of over a hundred people !
I think I will not watch any movie with Shayan Munshi in it in future. But that doesn't mean much - Shayan the loser only has 'Jhankar Beats' to his credit and one has already seen that. So Shayan will not be economically affected in the least by my decision. http://us.f362.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=%^%@#$@$%@$%%$%^$ Suddenly the second half of 'Rang De Basanti' makes much more sense. Can imagine Jessica's sister's fingers itching to pull the trigger - mine are itching to slap someone hard, and I never even knew Jessica.
By,
Zenobia D. Driver
Here is a link to another interesting article - a judge giving his suggestions on how we should change the prosecution apparatus in order to ensure justice in such cases. http://www.indianexpress.com/full_story.php?content_id=88403
Someone I met yesterday raised a very interesting question, am not sure I answered it at all well, hence am bouncing it off all of you. He said that effectively the media has tried Manu Sharma and found him guilty prematurely, all of us are going purely by the case that the media has built up, and we have no way of actually knowing whether Manu Sharma is guilty or not. My reply was that the way the witnesses retracted evidence and turned hostile stank like hell, and somehow the way the case has progressed does not convince me that the courts or the police have pursued it diligently. Hence I am inclined to believe that Manu Sharma did not deserve to walk away scot free.
Am quite frustrated by this case - it was not a lonely encounter in some dingy back alley, it was in full view of over a hundred people !
I think I will not watch any movie with Shayan Munshi in it in future. But that doesn't mean much - Shayan the loser only has 'Jhankar Beats' to his credit and one has already seen that. So Shayan will not be economically affected in the least by my decision. http://us.f362.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=%^%@#$@$%@$%%$%^$ Suddenly the second half of 'Rang De Basanti' makes much more sense. Can imagine Jessica's sister's fingers itching to pull the trigger - mine are itching to slap someone hard, and I never even knew Jessica.
By,
Zenobia D. Driver
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
General thoughts
1) The murders of Satyendranath Dubey and Manjunath Shanmugam have set me thinking. Am I brave at all ? Am I honest ? I think I am honest, and I suppose I am reasonably so in my daily life, but I have never been faced with a life-or-death situation so far. The worst that I have suffered for standing up for what I believe in is right is some temporary animosity, loss of goodwill or a somewhat lower bonus. Would I be able to face a situation where my life was in danger and not buckle under? Suddenly, somehow, I feel smaller, less capable, less secure, less courageous, just…less.
When I was young, I believed I was brave, courageous, a fighter. Now I wonder. I really don’t know. All I have done lately to further the cause of what is right is to refuse to pay auto guys an extra ten bucks – that doesn’t require courage, just obstinacy and the patience to wait for an auto guy who agrees to charge the correct fare.
Does one become more cowardly as one grows older ? or simply more cynical ? or disinclined to take any step that may disturb a comfortable routine ?
2) I heard about the acquittal of the murderers of Jessica Lall while watching the news yesterday. I am appalled at the ineptitude of the Delhi police and the averageness of the eye-witnesses. How is it that over a hundred people saw a man shoot a woman in cold blood, and not one of them had the balls to stick to their testimony ! What strings this Manu Sharma must have pulled !
I doubt whether Manu Sharma would shrink from anything in future – having got away scot-free in this case, am sure he will merrily indulge in all kinds of shady stuff knowing full well that he will not be punished for it.
As for Jessica Lall’s family, wonder how they will find the faith and courage to go on living. What would give them the strength to make decisions based on rightness and justice in the future when they know that the bad guys win in the end ?
Zenobia D. Driver
When I was young, I believed I was brave, courageous, a fighter. Now I wonder. I really don’t know. All I have done lately to further the cause of what is right is to refuse to pay auto guys an extra ten bucks – that doesn’t require courage, just obstinacy and the patience to wait for an auto guy who agrees to charge the correct fare.
Does one become more cowardly as one grows older ? or simply more cynical ? or disinclined to take any step that may disturb a comfortable routine ?
2) I heard about the acquittal of the murderers of Jessica Lall while watching the news yesterday. I am appalled at the ineptitude of the Delhi police and the averageness of the eye-witnesses. How is it that over a hundred people saw a man shoot a woman in cold blood, and not one of them had the balls to stick to their testimony ! What strings this Manu Sharma must have pulled !
I doubt whether Manu Sharma would shrink from anything in future – having got away scot-free in this case, am sure he will merrily indulge in all kinds of shady stuff knowing full well that he will not be punished for it.
As for Jessica Lall’s family, wonder how they will find the faith and courage to go on living. What would give them the strength to make decisions based on rightness and justice in the future when they know that the bad guys win in the end ?
Zenobia D. Driver
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Personal Records
Personal records
Having recently turned 30, I have become obsessed with trying to remember important events in my life. My obsession with my age started with the realization that Sachin Tendulkar was probably nearing retirement (maybe he will, maybe he won't, but back when he was injured, it seemed like it would happen). Sachin Tendulkar is older than I am. Now he's old and has tennis elbow and his career may be getting over, though he did score a fine knock against Pakistan. Which means I'm old, too.
When I was 15, I went to a school function where Sachin Tendulkar was the chief guest. He still hadn't got his India cap, but was fresh off a good debut in the Ranji trophy, and tales of his monumental stand with Vinod Kambli for Shardashram were still in circulation. Sachin wouldn't remember me -- there were many feet (of people as well as distance) separating us. He was up on stage with Sharad Pawar (who was then the chief minister), and I was sitting cross-legged in the audience. But I Was There.
In the fall of 1994, around 9:00 am in the fall semester at IIT Bombay, I was at the coffee shack. The fella there said, "We are starting to sell tomato soup from today, would you like to buy some?" I bought some. But nobody recorded it for posterity. But I Was First.
That's about it, really. Depressing, innit? Some people would write, "I was the youngest winner of the Wimbledon," or "I earned a PhD at sixteen," and all I've got is tomato soup. Possibly Tendulkar.
Maybe I've forgotten it all, now that I'm 30. Maybe I should go for sentimental and record the birth of my daughter and my wedding as significant -- but practically everybody does that. Does a prize for group singing in class 7 (section D) count? What about being captain, Red House, for classes 6-7, and possibly school captain if I hadn't skipped the ceremony because they didn't give me advance warning?
Life.
By,
Speck 42
Having recently turned 30, I have become obsessed with trying to remember important events in my life. My obsession with my age started with the realization that Sachin Tendulkar was probably nearing retirement (maybe he will, maybe he won't, but back when he was injured, it seemed like it would happen). Sachin Tendulkar is older than I am. Now he's old and has tennis elbow and his career may be getting over, though he did score a fine knock against Pakistan. Which means I'm old, too.
When I was 15, I went to a school function where Sachin Tendulkar was the chief guest. He still hadn't got his India cap, but was fresh off a good debut in the Ranji trophy, and tales of his monumental stand with Vinod Kambli for Shardashram were still in circulation. Sachin wouldn't remember me -- there were many feet (of people as well as distance) separating us. He was up on stage with Sharad Pawar (who was then the chief minister), and I was sitting cross-legged in the audience. But I Was There.
In the fall of 1994, around 9:00 am in the fall semester at IIT Bombay, I was at the coffee shack. The fella there said, "We are starting to sell tomato soup from today, would you like to buy some?" I bought some. But nobody recorded it for posterity. But I Was First.
That's about it, really. Depressing, innit? Some people would write, "I was the youngest winner of the Wimbledon," or "I earned a PhD at sixteen," and all I've got is tomato soup. Possibly Tendulkar.
Maybe I've forgotten it all, now that I'm 30. Maybe I should go for sentimental and record the birth of my daughter and my wedding as significant -- but practically everybody does that. Does a prize for group singing in class 7 (section D) count? What about being captain, Red House, for classes 6-7, and possibly school captain if I hadn't skipped the ceremony because they didn't give me advance warning?
Life.
By,
Speck 42
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Random Stuff
The creative leave applications of my colleagues never fail to make me chuckle. One went, 'As my neighbour expired next to my door, I couldn't attend office.'!!
Or this peon of mine who got a telegram from his brother in the village telling him that their father had passed away ? This peon happens to be an alcoholic, so, expectedly, he was so broke that he didn't have the money to go to his village. I and a few others chipped in, and managed to rustle up enough to sponsor his trip and the other expenses there. The guy goes off, saying he'll be back in a fortnight or so. About four days later, we received another telegram "Father's dead, it's been 4 days, where ARE you?" A fortnight later, in saunters the peon, with his hair shaved off, and with a sad _expression on his face. We tsk-tsk sympathetically at his story of his father's demise and all the subsequent functions. Then, we produce the second telegram! His face was a sight!Turns out the lure of the juice of the grape was stronger than anything, and with all the money he had, he went on the bender of his life! Forget turning, his father must've positively revolved in his grave!
Here's another memory that surfaced from the mid-eighties. I was at our Nariman Point branch then, and the senior-most clerk, Mr. Tanaji (do tutaris sound in the background at the mention of the name?), in his usual style is sitting cross-legged on his chair writing something called the 'transfer waste'. It was a messy piece of work and took some experience to make it all tally at the end of the day and he was lost in it. Suddenly the Deputy General Manager of our bank visits us, and the branch in-charge is busy taking him around, introducing him to everyone. They reach Tanaji, who's beavering away with furrowed brow. After being introduced, and after noticing the HUUUGE transfer waste spread across the table, the DGM loses it, and asks Tanaji, 'So, Mr. Tanaji, what do you do?" Tanaji looks up crossly, stares awhile at the DGM, and replies, "I WORK IN CANARA BANK."
Recipe for the blues : Take a large glass. Pour water in it. You may stop now. Add a teaspoon of sugar, half a crushed ginger, a dash of chili-powder. Let it cool in the refrigerator for roughly half an hour. Take it out and chuck it out the goddamn window, preferably on the workmen's heads. Go out to the nearest bar and down a couple of stiff ones. Works everytime for me.
Or this peon of mine who got a telegram from his brother in the village telling him that their father had passed away ? This peon happens to be an alcoholic, so, expectedly, he was so broke that he didn't have the money to go to his village. I and a few others chipped in, and managed to rustle up enough to sponsor his trip and the other expenses there. The guy goes off, saying he'll be back in a fortnight or so. About four days later, we received another telegram "Father's dead, it's been 4 days, where ARE you?" A fortnight later, in saunters the peon, with his hair shaved off, and with a sad _expression on his face. We tsk-tsk sympathetically at his story of his father's demise and all the subsequent functions. Then, we produce the second telegram! His face was a sight!Turns out the lure of the juice of the grape was stronger than anything, and with all the money he had, he went on the bender of his life! Forget turning, his father must've positively revolved in his grave!
Here's another memory that surfaced from the mid-eighties. I was at our Nariman Point branch then, and the senior-most clerk, Mr. Tanaji (do tutaris sound in the background at the mention of the name?), in his usual style is sitting cross-legged on his chair writing something called the 'transfer waste'. It was a messy piece of work and took some experience to make it all tally at the end of the day and he was lost in it. Suddenly the Deputy General Manager of our bank visits us, and the branch in-charge is busy taking him around, introducing him to everyone. They reach Tanaji, who's beavering away with furrowed brow. After being introduced, and after noticing the HUUUGE transfer waste spread across the table, the DGM loses it, and asks Tanaji, 'So, Mr. Tanaji, what do you do?" Tanaji looks up crossly, stares awhile at the DGM, and replies, "I WORK IN CANARA BANK."
Recipe for the blues : Take a large glass. Pour water in it. You may stop now. Add a teaspoon of sugar, half a crushed ginger, a dash of chili-powder. Let it cool in the refrigerator for roughly half an hour. Take it out and chuck it out the goddamn window, preferably on the workmen's heads. Go out to the nearest bar and down a couple of stiff ones. Works everytime for me.
If Wishes Were Horses
There are some advantages to being the editor of a blog. One is that I get to be dictator and trouble the poor souls who write in by editing their stuff (anyone who has any doubts about what a pest I am can check with previous contributors, who tolerated me editing grammar and sentence construction, but obstinately refused to let me insert my opinions in their articles) . The other is that I get to inflict my views on everyone whenever and however I want to. So here is my current wish list.
1. Google has an online competition in which they ask for submissions on what to do next. I win a million dollars. Actually that sounds a bit low, let’s make it ten million, what’s a million or ten to Google ?
2. All the ex-bosses whom I hate are involved in grisly, gory accidents. At the very least, they should get fever or chicken-pox or syphilis or something. Or be kidnapped by mad chimpanzees who want to do kinky things with them. (syphilis can follow)
3. Some totally cool company should woo me for a job. And promise me a huge salary. And a sign-on bonus. And encourage me to go with Odati on an Arunachal trek in April. And say that actually they don’t have much work for me to do till June, so would I mind just accepting the salary and not coming to office please ? ( I can just see myself thinking thoughtfully and then saying 'I'll think about it' as if I am doing them a favour !)
4. Thanks to Anita for sending me this important information – the Deccan Chronicle reports that the Bihar and Gujarat police have come up with a novel way of ensuring that young couples in love do not smooch in public. Anyone they catch smooching or cuddling will be forced to get married !!
Am hoping that when I visit Ahemadabad on 14th Feb, Abhishek Bachchan / John Abraham / Milind Soman will be shooting there. When I reach the sets, a scene where the hero has blindfolds on will be getting canned. Policemen will be witness when I smooch Abhishek/John/Milind and then they will force a shotgun wedding on us.
(Don’t even bother asking me why I don’t want the same scenario to unfold in Bihar, hero will be beaten black and blue, then there will be a shoot-out and hero will stagger to my side and put sindoor in my maang just as I breathe my last. Definitely not Bihar.)
5. I write a full article of more than two paragraphs without bullet points.
By,
Zenobia D. Driver
1. Google has an online competition in which they ask for submissions on what to do next. I win a million dollars. Actually that sounds a bit low, let’s make it ten million, what’s a million or ten to Google ?
2. All the ex-bosses whom I hate are involved in grisly, gory accidents. At the very least, they should get fever or chicken-pox or syphilis or something. Or be kidnapped by mad chimpanzees who want to do kinky things with them. (syphilis can follow)
3. Some totally cool company should woo me for a job. And promise me a huge salary. And a sign-on bonus. And encourage me to go with Odati on an Arunachal trek in April. And say that actually they don’t have much work for me to do till June, so would I mind just accepting the salary and not coming to office please ? ( I can just see myself thinking thoughtfully and then saying 'I'll think about it' as if I am doing them a favour !)
4. Thanks to Anita for sending me this important information – the Deccan Chronicle reports that the Bihar and Gujarat police have come up with a novel way of ensuring that young couples in love do not smooch in public. Anyone they catch smooching or cuddling will be forced to get married !!
Am hoping that when I visit Ahemadabad on 14th Feb, Abhishek Bachchan / John Abraham / Milind Soman will be shooting there. When I reach the sets, a scene where the hero has blindfolds on will be getting canned. Policemen will be witness when I smooch Abhishek/John/Milind and then they will force a shotgun wedding on us.
(Don’t even bother asking me why I don’t want the same scenario to unfold in Bihar, hero will be beaten black and blue, then there will be a shoot-out and hero will stagger to my side and put sindoor in my maang just as I breathe my last. Definitely not Bihar.)
5. I write a full article of more than two paragraphs without bullet points.
By,
Zenobia D. Driver
Friday, February 03, 2006
Review of 'Rang De Basanti'
Review of ‘Rang De Basanti’
I understand that I am among the three people on this planet not in raptures over Rang De Basanti. While the distinctiveness is flattering, my company among the trio isn't. And so this is as much an attempt to give some sort of deep intellectual credibility to my movie preferences as to distance myself from the crusader and the minister.
OK, so RDB gets high marks for creativity. Not only is the basic story idea new, it manages to stay focussed : I kept waiting for Om Puri to have a sudden change of heart, throw out the elder son and start apologising profusely to the younger son. I was all set to watch Kirron Kher fall madly in love with Anupam Kher and make an honest man out of him. Neither happens. We don't even get to see Soha and Sue break into an item number to distract the Defence Minister before he is shot. (Damn. )
The truly breakthrough part of the movie is the awesome narrative structure. The essence of this is the way the past and the present are weaved in, especially when you start seeing one influence the other (And, to digress, I thought Aamir did an awesome job with that line about one foot in the future, one foot in the past). That apart, the narrative structure is also enhanced by the way RDB remains a film about a bunch of people rather than a hero and a villain.
I found Sue's hindi irritating, I thought Kunal Kapoor was terrible, I thought the first half dragged and if I thought the first half dragged let's not get me started on the second half, but these are all minor (and very subjective) issues. RDB starts out by being realistic enough that one is willing to put up with the slow meandering, until that meandering is eventually heightened by ridiculous melodrama. But even that, I suppose, is subjective. In the theatre where I saw it, RDB's climax received a standing ovation. But then I saw it in Gurgaon.
It is now a cliche to point out that when we like something, we ascribe a higher order identity to it. So RDB is no longer just a movie - it is now a wakeup call to the youth, a big "message" that the system must be reformed.
Now I am all for telling the youth to do something about whatever it is that they do not like, but the solution to the problems (of any society) does not lie in becoming a bunch of naxalites and shooting everyone down. ‘Hazaaron Kwahishein Aisi’ did not have Aamir Khan and A R Rahman, but it had a realistic message that beautifully tempered the idealism with realism, and was told through a story in sync with the times it portrayed. Each of three strong characters in an Emergency India chooses a different path, but none of them chooses "The Right Path", and none manages to reform the "System".
Now take Anita's intro. Sure, her (and my, and your) parents / grandparents could not have dreamt of a high-paying job, a house and foreign vacations. Our generation can, but then it can do so precisely because it has struggled in a manner very different from the struggles of the ones before it. Anita may never have tossed a home-made bomb (yeah yeah, she owns her own house, why would she risk building a bomb in it?) or stoned a public bus, but in living the "middle class dream of a degree from a decent university" etc, she and her generation have "Changed the System", which is what ‘Hazaaron Khwahishein’ and ‘Rang De Basanti’ are about. To my mind, software engineers and MBAs and call centre employees make a difference that no revolutions achieved, and also get a complimentary gold credit card in the process.
And there is a fundamental, if simple economic-philosophical theme in that. I see a strain of Adam Smith's invisible hand here (why do I just know this is where Aseem will come in with all guns blazing!), in that the actions of people driven by self-interest lead to a better outcome for society as a whole. Go do your job, and if you do it well enough the system will benefit (karmanye vaadhikaaraste, anyone?). But then it is so much more romantic to carp eloquent about some vague macro "system" and use that to justify blatant excesses. So we see a bunch of supremely sensitive kids who get riled when the Defence Minister chooses to question their dead friend's competence, and then it's time to go Bam! Oh, that's not why they do it of course. They do it to reform the system. It is wrong to riot on Valentines Day because you do not like teens snogging (or because you aren't getting any), but if you're fighting to prevent moral degradation and corruption of the system, let's stone the Archies ! [I am sooo tempted to mention Iraq here...]
RDB is an unusual, entertaining movie with much to recommend it. But the solution it offers (to an inadequately defined and existentially ambiguous problem) is one that has always been inadequate and is now also outdated - as demonstrated by the beautifully shot sepia-toned example in the movie.
By,
Rohithari Rajan
I understand that I am among the three people on this planet not in raptures over Rang De Basanti. While the distinctiveness is flattering, my company among the trio isn't. And so this is as much an attempt to give some sort of deep intellectual credibility to my movie preferences as to distance myself from the crusader and the minister.
OK, so RDB gets high marks for creativity. Not only is the basic story idea new, it manages to stay focussed : I kept waiting for Om Puri to have a sudden change of heart, throw out the elder son and start apologising profusely to the younger son. I was all set to watch Kirron Kher fall madly in love with Anupam Kher and make an honest man out of him. Neither happens. We don't even get to see Soha and Sue break into an item number to distract the Defence Minister before he is shot. (Damn. )
The truly breakthrough part of the movie is the awesome narrative structure. The essence of this is the way the past and the present are weaved in, especially when you start seeing one influence the other (And, to digress, I thought Aamir did an awesome job with that line about one foot in the future, one foot in the past). That apart, the narrative structure is also enhanced by the way RDB remains a film about a bunch of people rather than a hero and a villain.
I found Sue's hindi irritating, I thought Kunal Kapoor was terrible, I thought the first half dragged and if I thought the first half dragged let's not get me started on the second half, but these are all minor (and very subjective) issues. RDB starts out by being realistic enough that one is willing to put up with the slow meandering, until that meandering is eventually heightened by ridiculous melodrama. But even that, I suppose, is subjective. In the theatre where I saw it, RDB's climax received a standing ovation. But then I saw it in Gurgaon.
It is now a cliche to point out that when we like something, we ascribe a higher order identity to it. So RDB is no longer just a movie - it is now a wakeup call to the youth, a big "message" that the system must be reformed.
Now I am all for telling the youth to do something about whatever it is that they do not like, but the solution to the problems (of any society) does not lie in becoming a bunch of naxalites and shooting everyone down. ‘Hazaaron Kwahishein Aisi’ did not have Aamir Khan and A R Rahman, but it had a realistic message that beautifully tempered the idealism with realism, and was told through a story in sync with the times it portrayed. Each of three strong characters in an Emergency India chooses a different path, but none of them chooses "The Right Path", and none manages to reform the "System".
Now take Anita's intro. Sure, her (and my, and your) parents / grandparents could not have dreamt of a high-paying job, a house and foreign vacations. Our generation can, but then it can do so precisely because it has struggled in a manner very different from the struggles of the ones before it. Anita may never have tossed a home-made bomb (yeah yeah, she owns her own house, why would she risk building a bomb in it?) or stoned a public bus, but in living the "middle class dream of a degree from a decent university" etc, she and her generation have "Changed the System", which is what ‘Hazaaron Khwahishein’ and ‘Rang De Basanti’ are about. To my mind, software engineers and MBAs and call centre employees make a difference that no revolutions achieved, and also get a complimentary gold credit card in the process.
And there is a fundamental, if simple economic-philosophical theme in that. I see a strain of Adam Smith's invisible hand here (why do I just know this is where Aseem will come in with all guns blazing!), in that the actions of people driven by self-interest lead to a better outcome for society as a whole. Go do your job, and if you do it well enough the system will benefit (karmanye vaadhikaaraste, anyone?). But then it is so much more romantic to carp eloquent about some vague macro "system" and use that to justify blatant excesses. So we see a bunch of supremely sensitive kids who get riled when the Defence Minister chooses to question their dead friend's competence, and then it's time to go Bam! Oh, that's not why they do it of course. They do it to reform the system. It is wrong to riot on Valentines Day because you do not like teens snogging (or because you aren't getting any), but if you're fighting to prevent moral degradation and corruption of the system, let's stone the Archies ! [I am sooo tempted to mention Iraq here...]
RDB is an unusual, entertaining movie with much to recommend it. But the solution it offers (to an inadequately defined and existentially ambiguous problem) is one that has always been inadequate and is now also outdated - as demonstrated by the beautifully shot sepia-toned example in the movie.
By,
Rohithari Rajan
Motherhood Myths
Popular literature and films and even other parents tend to create a lot of myths about the nature of motherhood. Here are some myths that I want to bust based on my experience:
The Instant Maternal Bond
When I was pregnant, I met other prospective parents who gushed about the baby they were going to have and how they already loved it more than anything or anyone else in the world even before it was born. I didn't get this at all. In fact, the baby was just a concept to me till he actually arrived. Sure, I felt somewhat mushy at my first ultrasound but that was really more awe at the fact that there was another human life being created inside me rather than the first stirrings of motherly affection. Even when Ayaan was born, the initial feelings I had were fear and worry about my ability to care for this tiny, helpless thing. I have friends who cried when they saw their babies for the first time. I really felt no such great gush of emotion. For me, it is something that built over time. The fear became protectiveness followed by possessiveness (he's mine!) and then affection. And soon, before I knew it, I was in love. But this whole process took almost five months and was definitely not instantaneous.
It's a Wonderful Experience
Sure there countless moments and events that can be classified as wonderful. But there are just as many not so wonderful moments as well. What's so wonderful about changing 20 nappies a day? Or about not knowing what on earth is making him cry so much and not knowing how to calm him down? Or how about the sleepless nights that you never quite make up for? I think women who say stuff like this do a great disservice to the rest of us. It would be so much better if they were honest and let us know that we should expect good and bad times ahead. And it would also make us feel normal (and not bad mothers) if occasionally we felt irritated, impatient or even resentful towards the baby.
Maternity 'Leave'
There's one of the most deceptive descriptions I have come across. It led me to have these lovely plans of surfing the net, playing online scrabble and reading a whole host of books during this time. Let me just say that not a whole lot of books got read (and even those that did were of the low-intelligence, low-involvement variety) and we gave away our PC after 2 months as it was just gathering dust in one corner of the room. Maternity leave?? More like maternity boot camp!! I remember my brother called me after my son was born and asked me if I was relaxing and enjoying my maternity leave. Huh? I can say with complete conviction that these six months of maternity 'leave' were the most exhausting and draining six months of my entire life. Working 10-hour days seems like a vacation compared to this!!
It Gets Easier As You Go Along
Okay this myth is not all myth. It does get relatively easier as you go on. For starters, the baby cries a lot less and you get to sleep a lot more. But while it gets easier, it never really goes all the way to easy. It's a tough job and will continue to be - it just that the worries and challenges keep changing as the baby grows.
Mother's Instinct
First of all, I don't think there is anything called mother's instinct. I think the people who believe in this are also the ones who believe in women's intuition, which as far as I am concerned is as imaginary a concept as UFOs and ESP. I think you can develop a deep understanding ofyour child, his personality and his needs and that can help you make decisions on how to best care for him. But this something you have to work at rather than something that is born inside you just as miraculously as the baby is.
Parenthood Makes Your Marriage Stronger
I have heard of people whose marriages were not doing so well deciding to have a baby to make their marriage stronger. I have this to say to them -"What were you thinking???!!" I would say that your marriage has to be strong to survive having a baby rather than the other way around. Before the baby comes, you have all the time and energy in the world to devote to each other. But once you become a mother (or a father), that becomes your primary job and everything else(wife/ daughter/ brand manager) comes a distant second. This creates a baby-sized wedge between you and your partner and that sure takes some getting used to. Add to this the sleepless nights, the frustrating days and the endless arguments about sharing responsibility. Does this sound like a formula that would strengthen anything, let alone a marriage?
By, Rohini Haldea
The Instant Maternal Bond
When I was pregnant, I met other prospective parents who gushed about the baby they were going to have and how they already loved it more than anything or anyone else in the world even before it was born. I didn't get this at all. In fact, the baby was just a concept to me till he actually arrived. Sure, I felt somewhat mushy at my first ultrasound but that was really more awe at the fact that there was another human life being created inside me rather than the first stirrings of motherly affection. Even when Ayaan was born, the initial feelings I had were fear and worry about my ability to care for this tiny, helpless thing. I have friends who cried when they saw their babies for the first time. I really felt no such great gush of emotion. For me, it is something that built over time. The fear became protectiveness followed by possessiveness (he's mine!) and then affection. And soon, before I knew it, I was in love. But this whole process took almost five months and was definitely not instantaneous.
It's a Wonderful Experience
Sure there countless moments and events that can be classified as wonderful. But there are just as many not so wonderful moments as well. What's so wonderful about changing 20 nappies a day? Or about not knowing what on earth is making him cry so much and not knowing how to calm him down? Or how about the sleepless nights that you never quite make up for? I think women who say stuff like this do a great disservice to the rest of us. It would be so much better if they were honest and let us know that we should expect good and bad times ahead. And it would also make us feel normal (and not bad mothers) if occasionally we felt irritated, impatient or even resentful towards the baby.
Maternity 'Leave'
There's one of the most deceptive descriptions I have come across. It led me to have these lovely plans of surfing the net, playing online scrabble and reading a whole host of books during this time. Let me just say that not a whole lot of books got read (and even those that did were of the low-intelligence, low-involvement variety) and we gave away our PC after 2 months as it was just gathering dust in one corner of the room. Maternity leave?? More like maternity boot camp!! I remember my brother called me after my son was born and asked me if I was relaxing and enjoying my maternity leave. Huh? I can say with complete conviction that these six months of maternity 'leave' were the most exhausting and draining six months of my entire life. Working 10-hour days seems like a vacation compared to this!!
It Gets Easier As You Go Along
Okay this myth is not all myth. It does get relatively easier as you go on. For starters, the baby cries a lot less and you get to sleep a lot more. But while it gets easier, it never really goes all the way to easy. It's a tough job and will continue to be - it just that the worries and challenges keep changing as the baby grows.
Mother's Instinct
First of all, I don't think there is anything called mother's instinct. I think the people who believe in this are also the ones who believe in women's intuition, which as far as I am concerned is as imaginary a concept as UFOs and ESP. I think you can develop a deep understanding ofyour child, his personality and his needs and that can help you make decisions on how to best care for him. But this something you have to work at rather than something that is born inside you just as miraculously as the baby is.
Parenthood Makes Your Marriage Stronger
I have heard of people whose marriages were not doing so well deciding to have a baby to make their marriage stronger. I have this to say to them -"What were you thinking???!!" I would say that your marriage has to be strong to survive having a baby rather than the other way around. Before the baby comes, you have all the time and energy in the world to devote to each other. But once you become a mother (or a father), that becomes your primary job and everything else(wife/ daughter/ brand manager) comes a distant second. This creates a baby-sized wedge between you and your partner and that sure takes some getting used to. Add to this the sleepless nights, the frustrating days and the endless arguments about sharing responsibility. Does this sound like a formula that would strengthen anything, let alone a marriage?
By, Rohini Haldea
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Review of 'Rang De Basanti'
I live in good times – I have a good job, I own a house and I can afford vacations abroad. All this before I am 27. Things my parents, who were in their 20s during the Emergency, could not have dreamt of at that age. Things that my grandparents, in their 20s at the time of the Freedom struggle, could not have dreamt of ever. And I have not even had to fight to be in this place. The new middle class Indian dream is to be a professional with a degree from a decent sounding university and count the money rolling in. So when there is no apparent need for a revolution in my time, how can a movie about changing the system even touch a chord? Maybe it is because we are not even aware that there is a system out there that requires changing? Perhaps in bringing that awareness is where the victory of ‘Rang De Basanti’ lies.
The movie starts off with Sue, the granddaughter of a Britisher who was an officer at the time of the colonial rule, coming to India to make a documentary on freedom fighters. Aamir Khan and company act in her documentary and in the process relearn the sacrifices that the Freedom fighters had to make. When calamity strikes in their little world, instead of the usual ‘Chalta Hai’ attitude they decide to fight back.
There are several good things about the movie. For one, it is not a paean to Aamir Khan – he is just one of the gang. Everyone in the movie actually acts. The women are not bimbos meant for song and dance purposes. The songs are not forced into the movie. Sue speaking in Hindi does not sound contrived at most times. More importantly, the movie manages to give the audience lessons in history without putting them to sleep. The movie not just manages to address nationalism, but also weaves in the traditionalist –modernist gap, the Hindu-Muslim gap skillfully.
The movie does have its faults. For one, it is too simplistic. And the events that happen after the turning point seem too sudden after the initial relaxed pace of the movie. But for all this, does it make you think about where this country is headed and what you, as a citizen, should be doing? Yes, it does. I guess that is reason enough to go and watch the movie.
By,
Anita B.
The movie starts off with Sue, the granddaughter of a Britisher who was an officer at the time of the colonial rule, coming to India to make a documentary on freedom fighters. Aamir Khan and company act in her documentary and in the process relearn the sacrifices that the Freedom fighters had to make. When calamity strikes in their little world, instead of the usual ‘Chalta Hai’ attitude they decide to fight back.
There are several good things about the movie. For one, it is not a paean to Aamir Khan – he is just one of the gang. Everyone in the movie actually acts. The women are not bimbos meant for song and dance purposes. The songs are not forced into the movie. Sue speaking in Hindi does not sound contrived at most times. More importantly, the movie manages to give the audience lessons in history without putting them to sleep. The movie not just manages to address nationalism, but also weaves in the traditionalist –modernist gap, the Hindu-Muslim gap skillfully.
The movie does have its faults. For one, it is too simplistic. And the events that happen after the turning point seem too sudden after the initial relaxed pace of the movie. But for all this, does it make you think about where this country is headed and what you, as a citizen, should be doing? Yes, it does. I guess that is reason enough to go and watch the movie.
By,
Anita B.
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