Friday, April 27, 2007

Tap - Tap - Tapori

I know this blog is beginning to resemble a refuge for nostalgic old fogeys, but I don’t care as long as I have fun and not too many people crib !
This post is a retrospective of ridiculous tapori songs that were popular when most of us were in college or had just started working; most of these songs had either Salman Khan or Govinda as the male lead and Karishma Kapoor or Raveena Tandon as the female lead; they were also noteworthy for a marked lack of melody and an overabundance of random dance steps (often bordering on the vulgar, esp song no.9 and 27 ).

1. Tan-tana-tan-tan-tan-taaraa, chalti hai kya nau se baaraah ? shaam ke show ki do ticktein hain, khol ke purse batlaaoon; samajh na mujhko aisa-waisa, mere batue mein hai paisa………
One of the nicest tapori songs, never fails to make me laugh, it’s just too funny.

2. Jungle hai aadhi raat hai, lagne laga hai dar………………………….darne waali kya baat hai, jab saath mein ho dilbar, aajaa meri baahon mein, soja rakhke sar
More a cute song than a tapori one, included it because it starred the King and Queen of taporigiri, Salman and Karisma

3. Neeche paan ki dukan, oopar gori ka makaan
Does this sound familiar to someone on the blog ?
I thought this was a part of a Salman Khan song, but one of my colleagues just informed me that this is part of an old Shashi Kapoor song

4. Maine paidal se jaa raha tha, tune saikal (cycle) se jaa rahi thi, kiya tring tring ka ishaaraa, mujhe badnaam kiya re
A song that my brother loved, for the way it murdered grammar and the way the hero cribbed about the heroine ruining his reputation (quite an unbelievable role reversal that – could anyone ruin Govinda’s reputation ?)

5. Tu mera, tu mera, tu mera, tu mera, tu mera Hero no. 1
I remember the camera focussing on Karisma’s shapely rear end as it swayed like a pendulum in time to the music

6. Ladki kamaal ki yeh akhiyon se goli mare
Hilarious number – totally arbit dance steps; Govinda and Raveena

7. Gore gore mukhde pe kaalaa kaalaa chashma, tauba khuda khair kare, khoob hai karishma
And the song starred Raveena if I remember correctly

8. Tu cheez badi hai mast mast
Hate this song. It sounds awful, and is quite cheap. And at the time it was released (’94), they played it over and over again in the gym where i used to exercise and i associate it with sweat and aching muscles. Other songs I hate because they are irritating and I associate them with the gym are the songs from 'Murder' and hence they shall not be given the status of a separate entry on this list

9. A – aa – eee, u – ooo – o
The most vulgar song possible. With Govinda and Shakti Kapoor

10. Lae gayi, lae gayi, lae gayi, lae gayi, mera dil lai gayi, dekho meri chhamiya mera dil le gayi
Salman and Karishma again

11. Ladki dekhi – moonh se seeti baji haath se taali, ailaa ailaa fuma aiga pori aali aali
(unusual for being picturised on Saif Ali Khan and Akshay Kumar and not on the usual suspects)

12. oye makhna
from ‘Bade Miya, Chhotte Miya’ – a totally awful song that wasted the awesome Madhuri Dixit and Amitabh Bachhan too

13. eek do teen ...
Madhuri in ‘Tezaab’ – the first lady to really shake her booty. Remember this song being a huge hit and lots of people calling it really cheap, yet when I compare it to some of the current songs I wonder what the fuss was about !

14. and the previous song reminded me of….
‘Dil dhak dhak karne laga’
Madhuri again in a song which was described by one of my friends as ‘the one where Madhuri forgets she has arms and uses other appendages to move while dancing’

15. and while on those appendages, who can forget ‘Choli ke peechhe kya hai’ ?
A song n dance number replete with double entendres, Ila Arun’s voice, Neena Gupta, Madhuri Dixit and a lecherous Sanjay Dutt; a well choreographed colourful number from “Khalnayak’

16. And then there is Sushmita dancing to ‘Chunari Chunari’, a foot-tapping, energetic number that always makes me want to get up and dance; the song also appeared in the movie ‘Monsoon Wedding’

17. Aati kya khandala
Though picturised on a tapori (Aamir Khan), the song was actually more cute than tapori

18. Aaee shivani...
Sanjay Dutt and Urmila Matondkar

19. Apun bola tu meri laila..
Ash and Shah Rukh – another more-cute-than-tapori song; a petulant Shahrukh complaining to his sister Aishwarya about his failure to win over his ladylove

20. Main to raste se jaa raha tha………..tujhe mirchi lagi tho main kya karoon
Govinda and Karishma dancing to a song that almost became an anthem for some time

21. Ishq hai diwana roop ka khazana aaj hai lootana
The Badshah of Taporiness Govinda and his able consort Karishma. Can’t stand this song, isn’t this the one where she is in a hideous golden outfit with a weird hairdo – in her pre-Manish Malhotra make-over phase

22. Main aaye hoon UP Bihar lootne
Shilpa Shetty ??

23. Kya ada kya jalwe tere paro, dil ke tukde ho gaye huzaaron; jaayegi ab jaan bhi meri, aankh naa maaro
Sunil Shetty and Anjali Jathar, good fun song
I remember all of us in our hostel randomly irritating all our friends called Paro - every Priyanka, Paromita etc

24. Chamma Chamma baaje re meri painjaniya
Urmila Matondkar and many lecherous old men

25. Shehar ki ladki.....
Raveena and Sunil Shetty....this is one of my fave songs.. Ravs looks like a million bucks in this song (p.s. The comment on Raveena’s looks is not by me – Zen)

26. Koi tujhse acchi milegi nahin, koi tujhse kum bhi chalegi nahin, aa meri life banaade, aa meri life banaade
Hilarious song, picturised on Raveena and Salman

27. Sarkailiyo khatiya jaada lage...
One of the songs that started off the totally tapori trend. Starred Govinda and Karishma, was totally vulgar

28. Meri pant bhi sexy, meri shirt bhi sexy……………..yeh rumaal bhi sexy hai
Quite a cute song starring Karishma, the word ‘sexy’ created quite a furore back then

29. Gore gore mukhde pe kaalaa kaalaa chashma
Nagma and Govinda - and Govinda with a beard if I remember right

30. Mujh se shaadi karogi....
Salman, Priyanka and Akshay

31. Dekha jo tujhe yaar man mein baji guitar...
Koena Mitra and Ritesh Deshkmukh

32. Bidi jalayle jigar se piya
Bips, Saif and Vivek; awesome song, very catchy, great lyrics by Gulzar – however does he manage to be so classy And so tapori !

33. Kajrare
Aishwarya, Abhishek and Amitabh – everyone knows this song

(p.s. Let me make it clear that I know all these songs because I watch a lot of MTV and Channel V – not because I actually watch Salman and Govinda movies. I don’t, honest. - Zen)

Before I end this post, let me mention that most of the information here has been reproduced from memory – so please feel free to add a comment if you wish to add more info or songs to the list, or to correct lyrics etc.

Also how about voting for the favourite tapori song. My vote goes to ‘koi tujhse acchhi milegi nahin’

Compiled By,
Zenobia
with help from
Anita
Sachin & Co.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Part 3 (Week 8): taking stock

Counted about 10 gray hairs. Considered writing a will, but changed my mind.

The electricity company was going to cut off the power … forgot to pay the bill. Giving up the home management ever since Priya took it over has made me soft. Paid the bill.

Sometime in week 6, it became clear that not all the things I was told I could indulge myself in have been done. Going out to get boozed up became a chore – the booze sessions themselves were great, a lovely time was had by all, but the next days … ooh, enough to make a fellow give up drinking. Plus single-friends are more interested in going on dates ( i.e, not dinner with me), while married friends – well, they usually have family full-time, don't they?

The gym membership went away, so no racquetball. On the other hand, I did go cycling once a week.

The yard was all soggy and wet and cold from this never-ending winter, so the vegetable planting has not happened. But I did tear out the grass around the apple tree and do the edging and the tilling in anticipation of warmer weather. And the garlic from last winter has come up looking healthy … and the squash saplings are doing well in the garage.

I did not go for watercolor classes, even once. They took the camera to India, so no photos either. My first attempt at developing film at home did not work, only two photos developed correctly. I dropped the plan for learning to play the guitar … who'm I gonna impress anyway? An Indian guy with flecks of grey trying to sing Beatles songs with a Liverpudlian accent (by way of Bombay) just sounds creepy.

KidB turned one while in Desh, and needs front-facing car seat. All modifications done to the car (went with a new booster seat for KidA and decided to let KidB inherit KidA's seat). KidB will hate her parents for the hand-me-downs, but then, she'll hate me anyway by the time she's a teen.

I still can't make sense of the Cibo Matto song, "Sci-Fi Wasabi." I did, however, finally listen to Queen's "Night at the Opera".

Time to go to the airport, need to get Priya home to throw that cabbage (who'm I kidding – I threw it yesterday). Never did update that spreadsheet with the list of foods from the first day or so … darn!

Thus ends my brief visit to bachelorhood. Ugh.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Eight weeks of vacation from the family - Part 2

(Week 5)

I have started exchanging manual labor for food and company. I will be going to a friend’s place on the weekend to help them make flower beds by tearing out their lawn, putting newspapers, and potting soil to make mounded flower and vegetable beds. In return, my gracious hostess will make lunch.

I brought home soymilk because dairy milk gets spoiled. When milk goes bad, the carton puffs up and gets all nasty. Eggs do the same thing. And there’s a cabbage in the fridge that I refuse to touch. Priya can get rid of it when she comes back.

I have the dishwashing down to an art. I do not use dishes. That cuts down on the dishwashing. Garbage is not a problem either. I generate so little garbage, I only have to put the garbage out once a fortnight. However, the recycling is a concern. All the (empty) beer bottles are taking up room and Something Needs To Be Done.

KidA – who is in India - misses me, and has reportedly taken to wiping her hands on her t-shirt with the statement, “Poppy taught me this.” Note to self: Avoid wiping hands on t-shirt when they come back from Desh.

Have abandoned the spreadsheet, though I will update it in a fit of pique one of these days. Read a history of the Oxford English Dictionary, and bought the OED on CDROM… loneliness breeds addiction to online shopping. Amazon.com is a dangerous place – I don’t think I’ve spent this much money on software ever before. Built a shelf with fluorescent lamps to germinate squashes (butternut, white pumpkin, globe, acorn) for the spring growing season, but it is too cold out to transplant them just yet.

Finally put away all the toys in the playroom, but haven’t decided if I should steam-clean. Maybe best to wait till KidB is toilet-trained, then go for some good bamboo floors. (Because they look good and are made from a renewable resource.)

Listening to some half-decent New Wave music (the canon, if New Wave can be described as having one). Also “Konichiwa Bitches,” by Robyn. Finally catching up with contemporary cinema (i.e., not being forced to watch Colonel Hathi sway his bottom to Colonel Hathi’s March in The Jungle Book). Watched “An Inconvenient Truth,” “CSA: The Confederate States of America,” and both the Woody Allen version of “Casino Royale,” and the modern version with Eva Green and whoever plays James Bond. Sigh.

Got depressed about Anil Kumble’s retirement.

By,
speck42[at]gmail[dot]com