An imaginary resignation letter

In case anyone’s missed the furore over the UPA’s Presidential nominee Pranab Mukherjee and his  resignation (or not) from the ISI (Indian Statistical Institute), links to news articles related to the tamasha here, here, here and here.

If you’ve been following the drama online, you’ll notice that every headline just says ISI and doesn’t specify which one, the Indian Statistical Institute or the not-so-friendly-neighbour’s Intelligence Service. The latter would be an amusing possibility, wouldn’t it ? Now that would really give the BJP reason to slam the UPA for encouraging and Pranab for indulging in illegal activity. And what an amusing resignation letter it would make, this is what I'm imagining :

Dear Sir,

I have been offered a senior position in another large organization and I have decided to accept it. As it is viewed in somewhat a competitive light, my membership of this august body would be in conflict with the new role and my responsibilities therein. (Also, the wife insists that I cannot be a party to plans to destruct my own backyard, and you know how obstinate Bengali ladies can be about small details that matter to them.)

Hence I humbly request you to accept my resignation. I hope you will release me from all duties as soon as possible.

Do convey my regards to the whole team, wishing all of you well in all future endeavours. I will continue to remain in touch and hope to maintain cordial relations, though in the interests of security, all parcels and gifts may be subjected to scrutiny.

                                                I remain,

                                                                                Yours sincerely, etc. etc.

• Zen