Sunday, March 28, 2010

the 20s once more…

the rush of my twenties is visiting me of late
with its feelings of nervousness, anticipation
and dreaming, at times about nothing at all?
lying in the dark veranda, Bad Company , REM on the 2 in 1, mind furiously wandering
gazing into the night sky
marveling at the Einstein black and white taped onto my book cupboard, then glancing at frida kahlo sitting on the other side,
her suffering expressed with a vibrancy that suffering lends
filled with wonder, anticipation and yearning.
yearning that I didn’t really wish to fulfill
but that gave joy in itself...
thinking what life could be like
the future was unknown, but the present was so secure. So certain.

the rush of my twenties is visiting me of late
am i scared to feel this excitement again?
perhaps, but to feel this yearning again is exquisite
awakening parts of me I had blocked out
parts that I had numbed myself to, as a coping mechanism
to obliterate the grief, loss and guilt that visited me in the last decade.

the rush of my twenties is visiting me of late
feel like I want to write again and might be able to
feel like listening to my cassettes of favorite songs on the outdated 2 in 1
(had forgotten I had ‘favorites’ )
rewinding just the line of the song I wanted to hear again
feel like traveling back to where I belonged
city I lived in, places I frequented, but importantly parts of me I haven’t visited for a while.
parts of me that allow for believing, longing and feeling.

the rush of my twenties is visiting me of late
the twenties of discussing intricate details of my dreams
laughing over silly exchanges and cigarette smoke
wrestling for share of a bottle of Smirnoff, discussing Foucault’s pendulum as an excuse to flirt coquettishly
standing up for what I wanted, voicing what I felt, fighting for an agenda.

the rush of my twenties is visiting me of late
of feeling wanted, angry, excited, emotional all at once.
whiling away hours on philosophizing, dreaming, self expressing
wondering once more what life could be like,
as the rush of my twenties visits me in my thirties
cheers I say!


By,
Anonymous

1 comment:

Anita said...

very nice. Reminded me so much of my twenties. Perhaps should write one on how the thirties are shaping up..?