1. Been a long time since Giani Zail Singh. India needs another Presidency that can spawn a whole series of jokes.
2. India can occupy America's position on the world stage. Once George Bush' term is over, which world leader will give us quotable quotes to chuckle over ? Who will play the court jester ?
3. The term 'informal' banking sector would acquire a whole new meaning.
4. Overleveraged and the economy dips? Relax and default
5. 'It's all about loving your family'
6. One small decision from Pratibha Patil, a huge leap for family planning practises. Of course, 'stupid' and 'unethical' do not yet qualify as symptoms of a hereditary disease
7. Even the President has an 'inner voice', so what if it speaks through Dadiji ?
8. Little children being misled by ambiguous concepts such as meritocracy etc can be given solid proof that loyalty and tenure will eventually get you somewhere
9. History exams - on Mughals and everything else - are going to be so much easier to prepare for. Just go with popular beliefs
By,
Anita & Zenobia
Friday, July 27, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Bombay City
Here is what I have come to realize about Bombay in my three years of stay and four years of long distance relationship with the city:
1. They forget to build drains but crib whenever it rains. My guess is the city drains have been shut by a cartel involving all TV channels which get 3 days worth of content every year
2. They build houses that look like matchboxes meant to store prisoners before they are shipped off to Siberia . They can never remember that small space does not translate to nil aesthetics
3. They have zero sense of cleanliness. Which other city do you find people spitting at will on the road, on the stairwell, on other people? And staying in buildings so filthy you need a TT shot just to look at them.
4. They love narrow roads and pollution and come up with weird ideas on what to do in your travel time. I mean, what about the basic question – why would I want to travel so much?
5. They come up with logical explanations on the city being too narrow to accommodate everyone close to their offices, hence the travel time. But the actual idea of building a bridge from new Bombay to south Bombay is too much for them to handle.
6. If they do build a bridge, they are fastidious about getting it right and don’t mind taking their time over it. Look at the Worli-Bandra Link
7. They hate the sunlight and air circulation. That is why they build tall skyscrapers everywhere. Even if some mill lands get freed up, they talk about building parks but that is just to stretch an illusion about their love for nature. It has nothing to do with actual action
8. In fact, they dislike nature and like to obliterate any signs of it. So they build buildings on erstwhile rivers. The ones which are too large to be drained out, they simply kill. Like the fishless lake in Powai.
9. They love having their slums right by their doors so they can get their kick out of seeing how rich they have grown. No, other cities are not hypocrites for hiding away their slums. Their maid servants have slum housing boards or do a 2-hour commute if they stay far away.
10. Their love for fantasy is well known. All their bathrooms and toilets are built for hobbits. So what if humans have to hold their breadth, crouch and lose weight to squeeze into this space
11. Their public transport is the best in the world. Especially if you are young, aggressive and don’t mind F1 kind of accurate timings to jump in and out of trains. Just move somewhere once you grow too old for this.
12. They don’t mind buying a newspaper even if the only thing covered in its 13 page main section, 8 page supplement and the 4 page colour feature is Bollywood.
13. Their range of movies is simply breathtaking – right from Govinda to Bruce Willis. And obviously you are not a patriotic Indian if you want to watch some of the more offbeat foreign language movies
14. They can leverage themselves 10 times over to buy a 1000 sq feet house in the heart of the city with a view of the neighbours dilapidated flat and the pollution from the vehicles on the road wafting up and spend the rest of their lives paying back the debt. Their children will do the exact same thing, moving to a more up market location.
15. They can wait two hours to sit in restaurants around tiny tables with their elbows banging into strangers ordering food that costs half a month’s pay and think they lead a cool happening life
Sure they are super efficient. They have six sigma beating Dabbawallas, shops that are open till 11 in the night, service providers who can be at your house by 7 in the morning. But all so that the average Mumbaikar can be on the right side of sanity in a city waiting to push him over the edge. Still, their claim that they have resilience is definitely true. After all how many people can travel three hours a day in a hot, sweaty train, breathing in the toxic air of their co-passengers’ armpits, reach home too late to meet their kid and still have the energy to do it again, again and again. They need the resilience.
By,
Anita B.
1. They forget to build drains but crib whenever it rains. My guess is the city drains have been shut by a cartel involving all TV channels which get 3 days worth of content every year
2. They build houses that look like matchboxes meant to store prisoners before they are shipped off to Siberia . They can never remember that small space does not translate to nil aesthetics
3. They have zero sense of cleanliness. Which other city do you find people spitting at will on the road, on the stairwell, on other people? And staying in buildings so filthy you need a TT shot just to look at them.
4. They love narrow roads and pollution and come up with weird ideas on what to do in your travel time. I mean, what about the basic question – why would I want to travel so much?
5. They come up with logical explanations on the city being too narrow to accommodate everyone close to their offices, hence the travel time. But the actual idea of building a bridge from new Bombay to south Bombay is too much for them to handle.
6. If they do build a bridge, they are fastidious about getting it right and don’t mind taking their time over it. Look at the Worli-Bandra Link
7. They hate the sunlight and air circulation. That is why they build tall skyscrapers everywhere. Even if some mill lands get freed up, they talk about building parks but that is just to stretch an illusion about their love for nature. It has nothing to do with actual action
8. In fact, they dislike nature and like to obliterate any signs of it. So they build buildings on erstwhile rivers. The ones which are too large to be drained out, they simply kill. Like the fishless lake in Powai.
9. They love having their slums right by their doors so they can get their kick out of seeing how rich they have grown. No, other cities are not hypocrites for hiding away their slums. Their maid servants have slum housing boards or do a 2-hour commute if they stay far away.
10. Their love for fantasy is well known. All their bathrooms and toilets are built for hobbits. So what if humans have to hold their breadth, crouch and lose weight to squeeze into this space
11. Their public transport is the best in the world. Especially if you are young, aggressive and don’t mind F1 kind of accurate timings to jump in and out of trains. Just move somewhere once you grow too old for this.
12. They don’t mind buying a newspaper even if the only thing covered in its 13 page main section, 8 page supplement and the 4 page colour feature is Bollywood.
13. Their range of movies is simply breathtaking – right from Govinda to Bruce Willis. And obviously you are not a patriotic Indian if you want to watch some of the more offbeat foreign language movies
14. They can leverage themselves 10 times over to buy a 1000 sq feet house in the heart of the city with a view of the neighbours dilapidated flat and the pollution from the vehicles on the road wafting up and spend the rest of their lives paying back the debt. Their children will do the exact same thing, moving to a more up market location.
15. They can wait two hours to sit in restaurants around tiny tables with their elbows banging into strangers ordering food that costs half a month’s pay and think they lead a cool happening life
Sure they are super efficient. They have six sigma beating Dabbawallas, shops that are open till 11 in the night, service providers who can be at your house by 7 in the morning. But all so that the average Mumbaikar can be on the right side of sanity in a city waiting to push him over the edge. Still, their claim that they have resilience is definitely true. After all how many people can travel three hours a day in a hot, sweaty train, breathing in the toxic air of their co-passengers’ armpits, reach home too late to meet their kid and still have the energy to do it again, again and again. They need the resilience.
By,
Anita B.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Approaching Antiquity
In other words, getting older.
I have just one problem with this - the older I grow the more the percentage of younger people amongst those around me increases.
A few years ago, when I was working in a regional sales office, I failed to appreciate one of its biggest advantages – it was staffed (or stuffed) with lots of old people, whose average age was 45. Compared to them, I felt like a young, sprightly spring chicken - with time, youth, energy and enthusiasm all on my side. Now I work for a company where many of my colleagues are younger than 30 (younger than me, sigh !), and some are even as young as 22 - 23 !
Who let this gaggle of kids enter office ? They should all be in college practising advanced calculus, or microeconomics, or analysing W.H.Auden’s poetry through a Freudian lens, or whatever it is that they study - and practising tying their diapers symmetrically in their spare time. They should not be in office making respectably middle aged people like me feel like dinosaurs, so not-with-it, so behind-the-times.
Much as I like being around them, I have to admit that being in an environment made up of younger folks is not for the intolerant, impatient, under-confident or faint-hearted. Communication can sometimes be a challenge – especially if one is prone to giving analogies from an earlier era while speaking. I once cracked a joke about a stilted conversation between two people of the opposite gender sounding like it was part of the dialogue of a Saigalsaab film; the blank faces I saw totally killed my enthusiasm to illustrate my point by breaking into ‘main ban ki panchhi ban kar ban ban doloon re’. (Which might not be an entirely bad thing, we were seated in a lounge at the time, my rendition of ‘main ban ki panchhi’ might not have been received with the applause it deserves).
Another time, at a disco, I was thoroughly enjoying the music as it was retro night and I recognised all the songs – something which doesn’t happen very often. However, the kids cribbed because they recognised very few of the songs. (An aside : You know you are old when the songs they pay on ‘retro’ night in discs are the ones you used to enjoy in college; or when the videos on Channel V ‘Classics’ feature guys you mooned over in school / college – e.g. George Michael.)
And let me not forget my young friend who during a conversation authoritatively informed me that once people are about 35 years old, they lose all interest in sex because they are too old for it ! When I accused him of ageist discrimination, his only excuse was to explain that 35 was an age too old for him to comprehend !
Do you remember the comics you read as a kid ? Archies, Superman, Batman, Tinkle, Phantom etc. One time we were discussing the recent spate of super-hero movies when I mentioned that I really liked Phantom when I was a kid. Thankfully, this time I didn’t get the blank zombie-like stares as everyone recognised Phantom. However, some of them knew Phantom only from a videogame and had never read the comics !
Yegads ! Kids have stopped reading comics !!
The very nature of childhood has changed ! They don’t read comics, they don’t recognise ABBA numbers, they don’t know Saigal and Guru Dutt, they don’t like reading books, they are very tech savvy, they wear branded apparel and they know the exact difference between a bar, a pub, a lounge, a disco and a night-club.
I need a guidebook to be able to make interesting conversation with this generation.
By,
Zenobia D. Driver
I have just one problem with this - the older I grow the more the percentage of younger people amongst those around me increases.
A few years ago, when I was working in a regional sales office, I failed to appreciate one of its biggest advantages – it was staffed (or stuffed) with lots of old people, whose average age was 45. Compared to them, I felt like a young, sprightly spring chicken - with time, youth, energy and enthusiasm all on my side. Now I work for a company where many of my colleagues are younger than 30 (younger than me, sigh !), and some are even as young as 22 - 23 !
Who let this gaggle of kids enter office ? They should all be in college practising advanced calculus, or microeconomics, or analysing W.H.Auden’s poetry through a Freudian lens, or whatever it is that they study - and practising tying their diapers symmetrically in their spare time. They should not be in office making respectably middle aged people like me feel like dinosaurs, so not-with-it, so behind-the-times.
Much as I like being around them, I have to admit that being in an environment made up of younger folks is not for the intolerant, impatient, under-confident or faint-hearted. Communication can sometimes be a challenge – especially if one is prone to giving analogies from an earlier era while speaking. I once cracked a joke about a stilted conversation between two people of the opposite gender sounding like it was part of the dialogue of a Saigalsaab film; the blank faces I saw totally killed my enthusiasm to illustrate my point by breaking into ‘main ban ki panchhi ban kar ban ban doloon re’. (Which might not be an entirely bad thing, we were seated in a lounge at the time, my rendition of ‘main ban ki panchhi’ might not have been received with the applause it deserves).
Another time, at a disco, I was thoroughly enjoying the music as it was retro night and I recognised all the songs – something which doesn’t happen very often. However, the kids cribbed because they recognised very few of the songs. (An aside : You know you are old when the songs they pay on ‘retro’ night in discs are the ones you used to enjoy in college; or when the videos on Channel V ‘Classics’ feature guys you mooned over in school / college – e.g. George Michael.)
And let me not forget my young friend who during a conversation authoritatively informed me that once people are about 35 years old, they lose all interest in sex because they are too old for it ! When I accused him of ageist discrimination, his only excuse was to explain that 35 was an age too old for him to comprehend !
Do you remember the comics you read as a kid ? Archies, Superman, Batman, Tinkle, Phantom etc. One time we were discussing the recent spate of super-hero movies when I mentioned that I really liked Phantom when I was a kid. Thankfully, this time I didn’t get the blank zombie-like stares as everyone recognised Phantom. However, some of them knew Phantom only from a videogame and had never read the comics !
Yegads ! Kids have stopped reading comics !!
The very nature of childhood has changed ! They don’t read comics, they don’t recognise ABBA numbers, they don’t know Saigal and Guru Dutt, they don’t like reading books, they are very tech savvy, they wear branded apparel and they know the exact difference between a bar, a pub, a lounge, a disco and a night-club.
I need a guidebook to be able to make interesting conversation with this generation.
By,
Zenobia D. Driver
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Movie Review : 'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix'
It was 10.15 am on Monday and I was rushing to Eros Mini Theatre where we were going to get the first glimpse of the latest-fifth-cinematic outing ofr J K Rowling's saga ‘Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix ’: the film that sees the boy wizard growing up to face the dreadful truth of his destiny.
In this latest flick Harry Porter painfully begins to understand the battles with evil that lie ahead. The film is good and gives us thrills and fun we have not already had in previous installments.
The latest film is far more merciless than the earlier ones and begins to introduce properly the idea that we are no longer in an amusing magical playground, but are en route to an epic confrontation with real victims.
The main story is how trouble brews as Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts begins. The authorities are ignoring Harry and Dumbledore's warnings of Voldemort's return, causing his fellow classmates to view him with disdain.
As all of you familiar with the book know, Order Of The Phoenix's story is about the magical world being split into two -- one half believes Harry and Dumbledore and the other believes the Ministry and its spin doctor, the Daily Prophet, who are out to make it look like Harry is a delusional fool and the Hogwarts headmaster a conniving, power-hungry wizard.
Harry suffers from nightmares, but even worse is the new defense against the Dark Arts teacher, the poisonous-in-pink Dolores Umbridge. She is the new witch who assumes control at Hogwarts, throwing the entire school into chaos. She is thoroughly dislikeable in the film and reminds us of some of our most hated school teachers.
The acting skills of Radcliffe (Harry), Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley) and Emma Watson (Hermione) have improved. Evanna Lynch as the eccentric Luna Lovegood has done a brilliant acting job. You feel sorry for her just as you do in the books.
The film is darker than all the previous films. The special effects along with the photography, locales and background score have all moved a notch above.
All Harry Porter fans and even those who aren’t his fans should like this one.
By,
Anusha
In this latest flick Harry Porter painfully begins to understand the battles with evil that lie ahead. The film is good and gives us thrills and fun we have not already had in previous installments.
The latest film is far more merciless than the earlier ones and begins to introduce properly the idea that we are no longer in an amusing magical playground, but are en route to an epic confrontation with real victims.
The main story is how trouble brews as Harry's fifth year at Hogwarts begins. The authorities are ignoring Harry and Dumbledore's warnings of Voldemort's return, causing his fellow classmates to view him with disdain.
As all of you familiar with the book know, Order Of The Phoenix's story is about the magical world being split into two -- one half believes Harry and Dumbledore and the other believes the Ministry and its spin doctor, the Daily Prophet, who are out to make it look like Harry is a delusional fool and the Hogwarts headmaster a conniving, power-hungry wizard.
Harry suffers from nightmares, but even worse is the new defense against the Dark Arts teacher, the poisonous-in-pink Dolores Umbridge. She is the new witch who assumes control at Hogwarts, throwing the entire school into chaos. She is thoroughly dislikeable in the film and reminds us of some of our most hated school teachers.
The acting skills of Radcliffe (Harry), Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley) and Emma Watson (Hermione) have improved. Evanna Lynch as the eccentric Luna Lovegood has done a brilliant acting job. You feel sorry for her just as you do in the books.
The film is darker than all the previous films. The special effects along with the photography, locales and background score have all moved a notch above.
All Harry Porter fans and even those who aren’t his fans should like this one.
By,
Anusha
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Review of 'Vacancy'
Husband and wife- David and Amy Fox (Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale) are driving back home from a party and suddenly they take a detour and their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. They walk a few miles and end up staying at a motel. They are tired and have a long day ahead but unfortunately they are unable to get any sleep as they are constantly bothered by unwelcome noises and visitors that keep them from falling asleep. When they discover some tapes of murders taking place in the very room that they are staying in, they realize that they are next. David and Amy then begin the fight for their lives.
This is ‘Vacancy’ a good suspense and thriller film. I just love these kinds of films. A Sony Pictures Release, the film is due to release in India tomorrow (Friday).
While it is not very different from most suspense thrillers or murder mysteries, it is still a nice fast - paced and well - made film according to me.
Both Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale are good in the film. I was watching Kate Beckinsale after a real long time. The last film I saw of hers after ‘Pearl Harbour’ was ‘The Aviator’.
I liked the characters played by Wilson and Beckinsale. They have arguments that are full of banter and eye rolling. There are some sarcastic statements made here and there to let the audience know why they are so pissed off with each other. There are no flashbacks just lines that explained enough to understand without going into grave detail.
The ending is very simple and not exaggerated. I was entertained though and I am not sure if people who love the horror genre will actually like or love this film. But if you do like smart horror movies instead of dumb ones you will most likely like ‘Vacancy’. So don’t leave a vacant seat, give it a chance.
Anusha Subramanian
This is ‘Vacancy’ a good suspense and thriller film. I just love these kinds of films. A Sony Pictures Release, the film is due to release in India tomorrow (Friday).
While it is not very different from most suspense thrillers or murder mysteries, it is still a nice fast - paced and well - made film according to me.
Both Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale are good in the film. I was watching Kate Beckinsale after a real long time. The last film I saw of hers after ‘Pearl Harbour’ was ‘The Aviator’.
I liked the characters played by Wilson and Beckinsale. They have arguments that are full of banter and eye rolling. There are some sarcastic statements made here and there to let the audience know why they are so pissed off with each other. There are no flashbacks just lines that explained enough to understand without going into grave detail.
The ending is very simple and not exaggerated. I was entertained though and I am not sure if people who love the horror genre will actually like or love this film. But if you do like smart horror movies instead of dumb ones you will most likely like ‘Vacancy’. So don’t leave a vacant seat, give it a chance.
Anusha Subramanian
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