the rush of my twenties is visiting me of late
with its feelings of nervousness, anticipation
and dreaming, at times about nothing at all?
lying in the dark veranda, Bad Company , REM on the 2 in 1, mind furiously wandering
gazing into the night sky
marveling at the Einstein black and white taped onto my book cupboard, then glancing at frida kahlo sitting on the other side,
her suffering expressed with a vibrancy that suffering lends
filled with wonder, anticipation and yearning.
yearning that I didn’t really wish to fulfill
but that gave joy in itself...
thinking what life could be like
the future was unknown, but the present was so secure. So certain.
the rush of my twenties is visiting me of late
am i scared to feel this excitement again?
perhaps, but to feel this yearning again is exquisite
awakening parts of me I had blocked out
parts that I had numbed myself to, as a coping mechanism
to obliterate the grief, loss and guilt that visited me in the last decade.
the rush of my twenties is visiting me of late
feel like I want to write again and might be able to
feel like listening to my cassettes of favorite songs on the outdated 2 in 1
(had forgotten I had ‘favorites’ )
rewinding just the line of the song I wanted to hear again
feel like traveling back to where I belonged
city I lived in, places I frequented, but importantly parts of me I haven’t visited for a while.
parts of me that allow for believing, longing and feeling.
the rush of my twenties is visiting me of late
the twenties of discussing intricate details of my dreams
laughing over silly exchanges and cigarette smoke
wrestling for share of a bottle of Smirnoff, discussing Foucault’s pendulum as an excuse to flirt coquettishly
standing up for what I wanted, voicing what I felt, fighting for an agenda.
the rush of my twenties is visiting me of late
of feeling wanted, angry, excited, emotional all at once.
whiling away hours on philosophizing, dreaming, self expressing
wondering once more what life could be like,
as the rush of my twenties visits me in my thirties
cheers I say!
By,
Anonymous
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Friday, March 19, 2010
Kolkata Chapter
Felt so connected with Kolkata this time. There are times when I feel so close to the city and times when I am so happy to leave. This time was about intimacy and going back to my core :-)
Kolkata and Mumbai could not be more different. I felt it as soon as I stepped out of the aircraft, life was in slow motion. People were walking at a slow pace, talking to each other and looking around and wondering. Sort of imbibing the atmosphere …
People have the time to talk and to listen and to exchange what they are thinking about, which means they have time and some inclination to think…I loved the slow meandering motion and slipped into it blissfully. Understood why I am always running behind others in Mumbai.
People are more aware, just regular people on the street, in the shops or restaurants or cab drivers..they have an interest in what’s happening in the city – IPL for instance and they also are aware of their surroundings and can give directions. I was looking for a biye bari (wedding hall) and actually when I reached the location, the tea seller on the road was able to give me clear directions to get to the address. Have a ten percent hit rate of this in Mumbai.
I walked into a book store at the airport and amongst the first books I saw were marie seton’s book on satyajit ray and no business books and money magazines staring at you. And the hotel movie list had the whole ray collection and amongst the bollywood fare something like devd. Someone had actually applied their minds in making the list instead of having the latest movies . The guy selling coffee at ccd had time to talk and told me what other coffee was available at which part of the airport.
I went for a close school friend’s second wedding, had missed her first and was determined to make it this time. So glad I went…met friends I had not seen for at least a decade. We went back to our old haunts and the coffee and chocolate shortbread at flurys was still on the menu. As we walked around, flurys, oxford bookstore and giggles were all in the same place !!! Went to visit school with a friend, we visited each classroom we studied in and sat at the desk in an empty classroom and got goosebumps, revisited the names and idiosyncrasies of each teacher we had. Everything was exactly the same in school, the wooden desks, the green softboard, classrooms were still non ac (thankfully), staff rooms, the green room, the jungle gym and swings. Outside the school gate there was kwality thelavala, selling orange sticks! How wonderful it is to go back to places which have not changed a bit, how comforting is that.
About the biye bari, there again for all the ceremonies, things were so beautifully slow, so relaxed and chaotic at the same time. And talking in Bengali how marvelous that feels, how utterly marvelous. Sort of reconnecting with my core. Realized what all I was missing out on, opinionated informed mileu of Kolkata were people actually have time to talk, to listen and to absorb. Now I know where the opinionated comes from too :-)
Then I got onto the flight and landed in Mumbai. As soon as we touched down, everyone switched on their blackberries, phones and as started running to the exit before the plane halted. Everyone running, for what purpose some times I wonder. The same people including me who would saunter and pontificate now back to business, the business of making money and somehow running to get to nowhere. Just this once I let it be and took my time till tomorrow when Mumbai will sweep over me and I will be back to the maddening rush. Or can I hold onto a bit of kolkata for a little longer?
I love Mumbai too in many ways and that’s why I live here now but that will be a new chapter. But what I am definitely giving up without realizing is having time for exploration and adda, for meaningful relationships and reconnecting with myself in a leisurely and relaxed way. Like a quotation on a mug in ‘Giggles’ said ‘ the cost of anything will be double what you originally estimated’.
By,
Anonymous
Kolkata and Mumbai could not be more different. I felt it as soon as I stepped out of the aircraft, life was in slow motion. People were walking at a slow pace, talking to each other and looking around and wondering. Sort of imbibing the atmosphere …
People have the time to talk and to listen and to exchange what they are thinking about, which means they have time and some inclination to think…I loved the slow meandering motion and slipped into it blissfully. Understood why I am always running behind others in Mumbai.
People are more aware, just regular people on the street, in the shops or restaurants or cab drivers..they have an interest in what’s happening in the city – IPL for instance and they also are aware of their surroundings and can give directions. I was looking for a biye bari (wedding hall) and actually when I reached the location, the tea seller on the road was able to give me clear directions to get to the address. Have a ten percent hit rate of this in Mumbai.
I walked into a book store at the airport and amongst the first books I saw were marie seton’s book on satyajit ray and no business books and money magazines staring at you. And the hotel movie list had the whole ray collection and amongst the bollywood fare something like devd. Someone had actually applied their minds in making the list instead of having the latest movies . The guy selling coffee at ccd had time to talk and told me what other coffee was available at which part of the airport.
I went for a close school friend’s second wedding, had missed her first and was determined to make it this time. So glad I went…met friends I had not seen for at least a decade. We went back to our old haunts and the coffee and chocolate shortbread at flurys was still on the menu. As we walked around, flurys, oxford bookstore and giggles were all in the same place !!! Went to visit school with a friend, we visited each classroom we studied in and sat at the desk in an empty classroom and got goosebumps, revisited the names and idiosyncrasies of each teacher we had. Everything was exactly the same in school, the wooden desks, the green softboard, classrooms were still non ac (thankfully), staff rooms, the green room, the jungle gym and swings. Outside the school gate there was kwality thelavala, selling orange sticks! How wonderful it is to go back to places which have not changed a bit, how comforting is that.
About the biye bari, there again for all the ceremonies, things were so beautifully slow, so relaxed and chaotic at the same time. And talking in Bengali how marvelous that feels, how utterly marvelous. Sort of reconnecting with my core. Realized what all I was missing out on, opinionated informed mileu of Kolkata were people actually have time to talk, to listen and to absorb. Now I know where the opinionated comes from too :-)
Then I got onto the flight and landed in Mumbai. As soon as we touched down, everyone switched on their blackberries, phones and as started running to the exit before the plane halted. Everyone running, for what purpose some times I wonder. The same people including me who would saunter and pontificate now back to business, the business of making money and somehow running to get to nowhere. Just this once I let it be and took my time till tomorrow when Mumbai will sweep over me and I will be back to the maddening rush. Or can I hold onto a bit of kolkata for a little longer?
I love Mumbai too in many ways and that’s why I live here now but that will be a new chapter. But what I am definitely giving up without realizing is having time for exploration and adda, for meaningful relationships and reconnecting with myself in a leisurely and relaxed way. Like a quotation on a mug in ‘Giggles’ said ‘ the cost of anything will be double what you originally estimated’.
By,
Anonymous
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Saanp - Seedi : Snakes and Ladders
Most of us liked playing snakes and ladders as kids; some still enjoy the game and indulge in it as frequently as possible with their kids, nieces, nephews, friend’s kids etc. For all of you that enjoy the game, here is some cool stuff related to it.
First, some facts about it’s origin; sourced from Wikipedia and this article from the Hindu.
Snakes and Ladders originated in India as a game based on morality called Vaikuntapaali or Paramapada Sopanam (the ladder to salvation) or Moksha Patamu; the earliest known Jain version Gyanbazi dating back to 16th century. The game and reflected the Hinduism consciousness around everyday life. Impressed by the ideals behind the game, a newer version was introduced in Victorian England in 1892, possibly by John Jacques of London. It was eventually introduced in the United States of America by game pioneer Milton Bradley in 1943.
The game was played widely in ancient India by the name of Moksha Patamu. Moksha Patamu was perhaps invented by Hindu spiritual teachers to teach children about the effects of good deeds as opposed to bad deeds. In this game every time a snake swallows a player he reaches the tail, which is death. He replays and goes up a ladder — this is life again.
The game board has 132 squares arranged in a serial order from the left bottom. There are different pictures on each block. They denote a living creature — animals, birds and men and they stand as a symbol. For example, the picture of a rishi (hermit) in block No 30 stands for nishta (concentration). Some squares have human qualities like Ego (Square No. 75), infatuation (Moham No. 97).
The ladders began from squares that represented virtues, such generosity, faith, humility, etc., and the snakes began from squares that represented vices such as lust, anger, murder, theft, etc. The squares of virtue on the original game are Faith (12), Reliability (51), Generosity (57), Knowledge (76), Asceticism (78); the squares of evil are Disobedience (41), Vanity (44), Vulgarity (49), Theft (52), Lying (58), Drunkenness (62), Debt (69), Rage (84), Greed (92), Pride (95), Murder (73) and Lust (99).
The moral of the game was that a person can attain salvation (Moksha) through performing good deeds whereas by doing evil one takes rebirth in lower forms of life (Patamu). The number of ladders was less than the number of snakes as a reminder that treading the path of good is very difficult compared to committing sins.
Once the victor reaches the 132nd square (the last), the right number has to fall to "reach God." Until he does so, he would be limping from one dwarapalak to another. Once he gets the right number to reach the Virat swaroopa, he wins the game!
‘Snakes and Ladders’ is also the title of a collection of Gita Mehta’s essays. In this article, Mehta explains that she chose the title as a metaphor for contemporary India because the unpredictability of whether a player rises quickly up a ladder or plunges into the jaws of a serpent seems like Indian life itself.
''Sometimes in our glacial progress toward liberation from the injustices that make a mockery of political freedoms,'' she writes, ''it seems we Indians have vaulted over the painful stages experienced by other countries, lifted by ladders we had no right to expect. At other times we have been swallowed by the snakes of past nightmares, finding ourselves after half a century of independence back at square one.''
And, to end this post, a passage from from ‘Midnight’s Children’ by Salman Rushdie :
The moment I was old enough to play board games, I fell in love with snakes and ladders. O perfect balance of rewards and penalties ! O seemingly random choices made by tumbling dice ! Clambering up ladders, slithering down snakes, I spent some of the happiest days of my life. When, in my time of trial, my father challenged me to master the game of shatranj, I infuriated him by preferring to invite him, instead, to chance his fortune among the ladders and nibbling snakes.
All games have morals; and the game of Snakes and Ladders captures, as no other activity can hope to do, the eternal truth that for every ladder you climb, a snake is waiting just around the corner; and for every snake, a ladder will compensate. But it’s more than that; no mere carrot-and-stick affair; because implicit in the game is the unchanging twoness of things, the duality of up against down, good against evil; the solid rationality of ladders balances the occult sinuosities of the serpent; in the opposition of staircase and cobra we can see, metaphorically, all conceivable oppositions, Alpha against Omega, father against mother; ......but I found, very early in my life, that the game lacked one crucial dimension, that of ambiguity – because, it is also possible to slither down a ladder and climb to triumph on the venom of a snake....
Information collated by,
Zen
First, some facts about it’s origin; sourced from Wikipedia and this article from the Hindu.
Snakes and Ladders originated in India as a game based on morality called Vaikuntapaali or Paramapada Sopanam (the ladder to salvation) or Moksha Patamu; the earliest known Jain version Gyanbazi dating back to 16th century. The game and reflected the Hinduism consciousness around everyday life. Impressed by the ideals behind the game, a newer version was introduced in Victorian England in 1892, possibly by John Jacques of London. It was eventually introduced in the United States of America by game pioneer Milton Bradley in 1943.
The game was played widely in ancient India by the name of Moksha Patamu. Moksha Patamu was perhaps invented by Hindu spiritual teachers to teach children about the effects of good deeds as opposed to bad deeds. In this game every time a snake swallows a player he reaches the tail, which is death. He replays and goes up a ladder — this is life again.
The game board has 132 squares arranged in a serial order from the left bottom. There are different pictures on each block. They denote a living creature — animals, birds and men and they stand as a symbol. For example, the picture of a rishi (hermit) in block No 30 stands for nishta (concentration). Some squares have human qualities like Ego (Square No. 75), infatuation (Moham No. 97).
The ladders began from squares that represented virtues, such generosity, faith, humility, etc., and the snakes began from squares that represented vices such as lust, anger, murder, theft, etc. The squares of virtue on the original game are Faith (12), Reliability (51), Generosity (57), Knowledge (76), Asceticism (78); the squares of evil are Disobedience (41), Vanity (44), Vulgarity (49), Theft (52), Lying (58), Drunkenness (62), Debt (69), Rage (84), Greed (92), Pride (95), Murder (73) and Lust (99).
The moral of the game was that a person can attain salvation (Moksha) through performing good deeds whereas by doing evil one takes rebirth in lower forms of life (Patamu). The number of ladders was less than the number of snakes as a reminder that treading the path of good is very difficult compared to committing sins.
Once the victor reaches the 132nd square (the last), the right number has to fall to "reach God." Until he does so, he would be limping from one dwarapalak to another. Once he gets the right number to reach the Virat swaroopa, he wins the game!
‘Snakes and Ladders’ is also the title of a collection of Gita Mehta’s essays. In this article, Mehta explains that she chose the title as a metaphor for contemporary India because the unpredictability of whether a player rises quickly up a ladder or plunges into the jaws of a serpent seems like Indian life itself.
''Sometimes in our glacial progress toward liberation from the injustices that make a mockery of political freedoms,'' she writes, ''it seems we Indians have vaulted over the painful stages experienced by other countries, lifted by ladders we had no right to expect. At other times we have been swallowed by the snakes of past nightmares, finding ourselves after half a century of independence back at square one.''
And, to end this post, a passage from from ‘Midnight’s Children’ by Salman Rushdie :
The moment I was old enough to play board games, I fell in love with snakes and ladders. O perfect balance of rewards and penalties ! O seemingly random choices made by tumbling dice ! Clambering up ladders, slithering down snakes, I spent some of the happiest days of my life. When, in my time of trial, my father challenged me to master the game of shatranj, I infuriated him by preferring to invite him, instead, to chance his fortune among the ladders and nibbling snakes.
All games have morals; and the game of Snakes and Ladders captures, as no other activity can hope to do, the eternal truth that for every ladder you climb, a snake is waiting just around the corner; and for every snake, a ladder will compensate. But it’s more than that; no mere carrot-and-stick affair; because implicit in the game is the unchanging twoness of things, the duality of up against down, good against evil; the solid rationality of ladders balances the occult sinuosities of the serpent; in the opposition of staircase and cobra we can see, metaphorically, all conceivable oppositions, Alpha against Omega, father against mother; ......but I found, very early in my life, that the game lacked one crucial dimension, that of ambiguity – because, it is also possible to slither down a ladder and climb to triumph on the venom of a snake....
Information collated by,
Zen
Sunday, March 07, 2010
Travelling in India
Here is where perspiration and body odour are shared through close contact free,
So suffer stench with patience till you reach destination ultimately !
This vehicle in front was a shocking sight to see,
All clinging to support themselves individually.
This type of travel is often termed ‘Latak Savari’.
At every bus stop bodies calmly flow out
Oh, not a whimper not a shout.
The driver's view is restricted cos of legs
Zig- zag driving’s not due to consumed pegs !
Preferential seating is bestowed for women up front,
His changing gear technique, a well acquired stunt.
‘Walk and talk’ scored many an accident inducing fear,
Here driver's braile n lever grab, mastered shift of gear.
On these roads the drive is silky smooth for sure,
Jeeps over-loaded, sharp ghetto body odour to endure !
Out standing performers wait just for the move
Then hop swiftly and on just front toe hold shove.
Seeing is believing, cos it's indeed hard to imagine,
The accurate number the busting crosses margin.
Poem and photos by,
David de Figueiredo
So suffer stench with patience till you reach destination ultimately !
This vehicle in front was a shocking sight to see,
All clinging to support themselves individually.
This type of travel is often termed ‘Latak Savari’.
At every bus stop bodies calmly flow out
Oh, not a whimper not a shout.
The driver's view is restricted cos of legs
Zig- zag driving’s not due to consumed pegs !
Preferential seating is bestowed for women up front,
His changing gear technique, a well acquired stunt.
‘Walk and talk’ scored many an accident inducing fear,
Here driver's braile n lever grab, mastered shift of gear.
On these roads the drive is silky smooth for sure,
Jeeps over-loaded, sharp ghetto body odour to endure !
Out standing performers wait just for the move
Then hop swiftly and on just front toe hold shove.
Seeing is believing, cos it's indeed hard to imagine,
The accurate number the busting crosses margin.
Poem and photos by,
David de Figueiredo
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
The Random Self-Help Book - Increase Self-Awareness
1. Never take yourself too seriously
2. Never be afraid to laugh at yourself
3. Be not afraid of posting links such as this and thanking Wilbur Sargunaraj though he does poke fun at the blogger tribe.
By,
Zen
2. Never be afraid to laugh at yourself
3. Be not afraid of posting links such as this and thanking Wilbur Sargunaraj though he does poke fun at the blogger tribe.
By,
Zen
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