Monday, June 12, 2006

"Tell me your biggest weakness."

"I dig my nose all the time and have a tendency to lob great gobs of spit at whoever i am speaking to."
"I hate other humans and scream at them for the slightest mistake, three of my colleagues recently had a nervous breakdown."
"I set very high standards for my whole team; after eight months working with me, my boss took a three month sabbatical to figure out clear goals and objectives for his life and work."
"My nickname is 'Terminator', the last four companies I headed went bankrupt."
"I believe that eight hours in office are best spent in tea/coffee/chat sessions interspersed with email checking and Tetris playing."
"I am hypercritical, negative, cribby and come to office only to disperse venom over a larger population."

Does anyone ever, ever admit to genuine weaknesses in an interview ? Granted, those listed above are exaggerations, but I wonder how an interviewer would react if someone came close to admitting to being antisocial, bad - tempered, lazy, impatient, irresponsible, stupid etc. When the answer is so obviously a work of fiction, why do interviewers persist in the farce ? Does asking this question not reflect on their lack of perspicacity ?

I have decided that my decision to join a company shall henceforth be based on the quality of questions asked by the interviewer. Those that keep silly, unnecessary questions to a minimum shall stand a greater chance of having me grace their office with my presence on a daily basis. In fact, I shall make a marksheet and rank companies I interview with in order to make an unbiased, balanced, sensible decision. In case anyone who reads this ever ends up interviewing me, here is how you will be graded :

Silly question with no hope of being answered honestly - (-50)
Question that may be answered honestly, but probably not - (-20)
Good sensible question - (+20)
Previous answer logically led to this Question, interviewer displays reasoning ability and analytical skills - (+50)
Doesn't ask too many questions but tells me all about his company and the industry - (+100)
Looks like Abhishek Bachhan/John Abraham/Milind Soman and may be my boss - (+1000)
(Yes, the last seems rather unlikely, but one never stops hoping....and just in case it happens, have ensured that marking system takes care of assigning this factor highest priority.)

Zenobia D. Driver


Anonymous said...

too good....I wish you are in recruiter's chair soon enough and we can start hearing about your interviwees and who all make the cut:)

Entropy said...

Thank you anonymous. Glad you enjoyed that post; I had great fun writing it.