The Times They Are a-chaging - Part 2

Wanted to introduce Ro's blog here, specifically her Rakshabandhan post. Relevant paragraphs of her post reproduced below for those that are too lazy to visit her blog themselves :

Yesterday was Rakshabandhan. The festival is all about brothers and sisters, so this was the first year that Ayaan could legitimately participate, having a baby sister and all.

All these years, I have never thought twice about the way the festival is traditionally celebrated - the sisters tie rakhis on their brothers, the brothers vow to protect the sisters and the sisters in turn pray for the well-being of their brothers. I simply followed the ritual and tied rakhis on all my brothers and cousin brothers.

But having my own daughter made me stop and think about the inherent chauvinism in the whole process and how that somehow made the whole festival something of an anachronism. In the days in which the festival of Rakshabandhan came to be, women were truly the weaker sex and therefore the presence and protection of the male members of their families (fathers, brothers and husbands) was not something that could be taken lightly.

But centuries on, much has changed, especially in the socio-economic strata that my children and I inhabit. I find it hard to imagine that Tarana will be the weaker sibling, in dire need of her brother's protection. I think they will both go through challenging times and I hope they will retain the love in their hearts that will help to provide help, support, encouragement, protection or whatever else is the need of the hour to each other.

So like many of my friends and acquaintances, I have decided to tweak and update the ritual to make it more contemporary. In our house, rakhi will be about celebrating the sibling bond and both Ayaan and Tarana will tie a rakhi on each other, with everything else that that entails.

Three cheers for Ro ! and Equality !
:-)
Zen

The Times they are a-changing – but not fast enough

Part of the title of this post is explained by the two real-life episodes described below:

First there’s R bai, a feisty lady that works as a maid in Mumbai. This lady’s daughter is getting married soon; to a man she fell in love with. R bai says that she doesn’t really care which rituals are conducted during the marriage ceremony, she doesn’t even care whether the couple undergoes the saat pheras or not, what she is insisting on is that the marriage be registered in court. She feels that rituals do not put any pressure on the guy to actually take care of her precious daughter; and that the lack of a document that can stand up in court implies that they have no recourse to legal action if he ever deserts her or ill-treats her. Three cheers for R bai for thinking of legal action against an errant son-in-law and not echoing the ‘beti shaadi ke baad paraayi hoti hai’ sentiment!

Another heartening story is one of a kabaadiwaala in Delhi, let’s call him K. For some time, when illiterate K goes house-to-house buying old newspapers and magazines for reselling, he has been requesting housewives on his paper-route to point out to him articles about travel and give those magazines to him free. Why ? Because his daughter was attending classes for some travel – and – tourism related training and needed material for her assignments and project submissions. Apparently, K had decided years ago that he would educate both his children, not just the son as many of his friends did; he was determined to ensure that his daughter would be able to stand on her own two feet and never be forced to stay trapped in an unhappy or abusive marriage due to being financially dependent on her husband.

Earlier this year, K’s ambitions were fulfilled, his daughter completed her course and got a government job.

Kudos to this kabaadiwaala for having the guts and the vision for seeing a different future for his daughter, and for having the determination to make it happen, it couldn’t have been an easy journey. And, of course, hats off to the young lady for the hard work she must have put in to get this far.

And just when I begin to exult in how much the status of women in this country has improved, I read stories like the one below in the newspaper :

Mumbai : A 28-year-old housewife has filed a case against her in-laws and neighbours for allegedly stripping and molesting her a fortnight ago. Byculla police said the incident happened on August 17. Senior Inspector Tukaram Godge said the complainant, a resident of Sankalp Siddhi chawl in Byculla, was reportedly beaten up by her mother-in-law for breaking a kitchen utensil. “The women in the neighbourhood allegedly tore her clothes and stripped her while men molested her.”

Desh Mera !

By,
Zen

Atmosphere

I like watching old Hindi movies of the Basu Bhattacharjee or Hrishikesh Mukherjee variety – think ‘Baaton Baaton Mein’, ‘Chhotisi Baat’, ‘Chupke Chupke’,‘Chashme Buddoor’, ‘Golmaal’ etc, often featuring actors such as Uptal Dutt, Om Prakash, Farooque Shaikh, Deepti Naval, Amol Palekar. Movies shot through with warmth, gentle humour and good music; the love story at the centre mellow, not melodramatic.

When I watch these at home in Mumbai, I sometimes find my enjoyment disrupted by a sense of impatience at the slow pace at which events unfold in these movies; a fall-out of the frenetic pace of the work-week in Mumbai, the urge to get things done quickly carries over into the weekend.

Recently I spent a few lazy days with friends at Panchgani, a hill station a few hours away from Mumbai. We went for walks, looked at the rain pouring down from the safety of the porch, admired tall trees in the garden, read books, chatted and basically indulged in aimless meandering activity. Even time spent carefully watching leaves fall in the wind seemed worthwhile, noting how larger leaves turn and spin multiple times in the eddies of wind on their way down, much like boats caught in a whirlpool must spin, I imagine.





One friend had brought along her small music-system. After breakfast and lunch, while others dozed away the heavy meals, we sat out on the porch and listened to music. Listening to ‘raindrops keep falling on my head’ while you’re watching the rain and listening to the wind ruffle leaves on the trees adds so much to the enjoyment of the song; ditto for ‘tiluk kumod’ with the background accompaniment of heavy rain. Or the Byrds singing ‘turn turn turn’ – a song about the cycle of the seasons makes so much sense and strikes a really true note when you’re amid tall trees that have seen many seasons change and weathered it all majestically.



I realised how much the atmosphere had seeped into me when I watched ‘Dulhan wahi jo piya man bhaaye’ for a bit on TV. The pace seemed just right, none of the dialogues seemed too verbose, though some of the emotions expressed were undeniably old-fashioned. Part of the reason might have been that at points in the movie where my attention flagged, the sounds I heard were not busy city sounds – traffic, hawkers, bhangaarwalas crying ‘papaarr’ – that reminded me of my task-list and time flying by, but unchanging unvarying sounds like the wind, rain, crickets chirping, etc, that had been and would continue to be around for millennia.

(Note : ‘Atmosphere’ does not seem to seep into guys thick skulls as much – they watched an action movie called ‘Kick-Ass’ at Panchgani and then 'Remember the Titans'.)

By,
Zen

Navroz Mubarak

To All our Parsi clan,
who carry eccentricity with elan;
Enjoy the New Year with chicken legs,
Parsi pegs,
good cheer,
a glass of beer,
majha masti
and tandarosti.

Happy New Year Everyone !

(p.s. the verse above is not original, but copied from an sms. - Zen)

Holidays. And Books.

A holiday without books – sacrilege ! Part of the excitement of packing for a holiday lies in calling ahead and finding out which books are available at the relative or friend’s house or hotel you are going to stay at, then selecting which books to carry with yourself, factoring in how much free time you will have, what sort of mood you will be in, maybe even where you will sit and read – in a hammock, in an easy chair, curled up near the fireplace, on a bench with a view of the hills and trees etc.

At least one book that I read during a vacation (apart from a guidebook) matches the place that I am travelling to; the atmosphere of the place helps me get so much more involved in the events in the book. I like to carry a book about mountains or mountaineering when in the hills; for instance, ‘Into Thin Air’ by Jon Krakauer (though not advisable while on a high-altitude trek, it’s about a climbing tragedy on Mount Everest), or ‘Nandadevi’ by Bill Aitken or ‘Silk Road on Wheels’ by Akhil Bakshi. When trekking through forests, I revisit chapters about Mirkwood or about the Ents from the ‘Lord of the Rings’ trilogy. If visiting Buddhist monasteries in Sikkim, Ladakh etc, a book on Buddhism does very well – the autobiography of the Dalai Lama, something by Pico Iyer etc.

It’s always nice to have one thriller or suspense novel at hand too – an Agatha Christie, a Perry Mason. And a light, humourous novel in case the murder mystery gets too scary – P.G.Wodehouse and Terry Pratchett are old favourites; some fibre for the brain to chew on – Amitava Ghosh maybe, nothing too heavy though, no Kafka, no tome on microeconomics, not for me. A collection of poems by various poets is also nice to dip into every now and then.

For one person to lug so many books around is a bit much, even after combining categories by selecting an author such as Bill Bryson (travel writing and humour). Hence I have learnt that choosing travel companions with care is very important. Choose them not for the quality of their conversation, or their enthusiasm levels, or good humour when faced with a ticketing ba**s-up, or the grace with which they lose to you at taboo/scrabble/pictionary etc; choose travel companions for the books they read and you cannot but enjoy the vacation.

By,
Zen